How a book and a trip to technology memory lane triggered past woes

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Started with the palm pilot, ended up with the iPhone at the palm of my hands

This is not a book review —

My earliest memories of the Palm Pilot was when I was in high school in a small, coastal province in the Philippines and I remembered it being a device that’s incredibly fascinating, only the rich kids/adults gets to have it. I remembered that disconnecting & at the same time, suppressed longing I’ve felt towards it (and Sony’s Playstation 1), about how socially exclusive it was, and much like everything else back then, clearly and undeniably out of my league. This is relevant to my reflections on a book about a company famously is called Apple for it felt like a full circle moment for me, a decade and a half after, designing for MacOS (Apple Operating System) platforms (among others). It felt like I caught the tail of this deceiving, teenage-clique-born idol. It felt like the lost insecurities of my past matters less and less because they always were just that: worthless external-driven distractions.

It felt like the thing that haunted me a lot all these years is nothing more than just an illusion, a thinly veiled machinery born out of fake social statuses, not too different from the idea of chasing the popularities and peer approvals in high school. I am, and always was, bigger than the things that made me feel small. Oddly, it was during those years that I felt most like a real poet. Now, I grew up to be a software designer with a poet inside that, every once in a while, like today, on a mundane monday subway commute, wants to be heard not to be recognized, but ultimately, to learn from.

People aren’t better than me, nor I am of them; I am not unworthy, nor are they. Just like this piece of technology in our hands, I am evolving, and so are you. Perhaps, some just more consciously than others.

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On the intersection of life and work. No in-betweens. http://nikkiespartinez.com/projects

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